And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
