I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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