My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
