The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
