I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
