Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize