Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
