let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
