He told me they were just razor bumps!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
