dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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