Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
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dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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