her vagina looked like bernie madoff
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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