Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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