Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
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