sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
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We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
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Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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