ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
two words...techno handjob
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
