if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
