i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
