she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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