Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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