I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
