I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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