Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
