I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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