I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
