Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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