butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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