Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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