Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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