allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We need to get me chipped asap
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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