I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
