I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
