I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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