Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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