You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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