I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
