do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
