hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
