I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
