You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
