Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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