4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize