Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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