you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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