matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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