Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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