Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
