Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
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he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
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1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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