That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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