His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
