You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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