All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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