what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
