either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
