I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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