i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
