We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
