cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
