I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize