Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
