Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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