just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
