Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
