You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
