I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
