...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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