Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
