Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
