It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
