another moral hangover. fuck.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
